Day 5: Metamorphosis

Disclaimer

For the next seven days, we will have only the sea and clouds for company. Our adventures will unfold entirely within the confines of the vessel. Instead of observing and writing about wildlife, you'll receive reports from the onboard "zoo." Please bear with me.  

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect."

—from Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis

When embarking on a ship, most passengers undergo a subtle transformation: from ordinary human beings to dedicated cruisaders. They step into a world of vacation bliss, a floating paradise for many—a dream come true. On this “all-inclusive” cruise, that transformation becomes all the more apparent.  

While no one wakes up as a giant insect, surprising changes do occur. Let’s start with the attire. As temperatures and humidity rise, everyone seems to get comfortable—and with that, personal style takes a peculiar turn.  

Warning:
Some observations may not adhere to strict political correctness.
If you feel easily offended, please STOP READING HERE.  

Observed Subjects: Male, Age 65+
  • Trousers shift from neutral grays and blues to a vibrant palette of reds and oranges.  
  • During dinner or on the dance floor, Hawaiian shirts, batik prints, and large floral patterns dominate the scene.  
  • On the pool deck or during breakfast and lunch, the muscle shirt reigns supreme—though the "muscles" have often relocated from the shoulders to the belly.  
  • Speedos make occasional appearances, sometimes paired with T-shirts boasting past glories, such as “Participated in the Boston Marathon, 2002”

Observed Subjects: Female, Age 65+

  • Dinner and dance attire leans heavily into glittery blouses or sequined blousons, evoking the spirit of Dirty Dancing or Saturday Night Fever.  
  • On the pool deck, too-tight hot pants or micro bikinis are not uncommon. Even the ship’s engineer expressed admiration for the remarkable advancements in fabric elasticity.  

Observed Subjects: all

As soon as you get on the ship, you’re issued a new ID card that serves multiple purposes:

  • It replaces your passport when leaving the ship.
  • It acts as the key to your cabin.
  • It functions as a credit card for all onboard purchases.

This makes it essential to carry the card with you at all times, wherever you go. The most practical solution is to invest in a lanyard, which allows you to keep the card easily accessible. However, wearing a lanyard can make you feel like an office worker at a multinational company, slightly detracting from the relaxed vacation vibe.

The preferred choice for many passengers is the official Mein Schiff lanyard, which is both functional and doubles as a souvenir to use at home. Still, there are countless ways to personalize your lanyard. One particularly eye-catching option was a Swarovski-style lanyard that added a bit of sparkle to the practical accessory.


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